Canvas of Vision
Sometimes I feel like giving up on everything. Everything I have done. Everything I have built. Everything I have achieved for myself. It always felt as though I do not deserve it. As if there was this invisible blot of paint that has tainted what I have originally created. That it was not as pure as it was before. That not even a clean slate can ever change that thrill that I had the first time I painted on that canvas of vision.
Thankful as I am, one day, I might just leave that vision to rest somewhere six-feet-deep. To never look back and leave it be. To leave it in the hands of someone that are prospering as well as they are thriving on their side of the stage. Perhaps it was my time to exit that stage. The stage of distinction. For it was never meant for me, the way it was once never for Vincent and his brilliant creations during his lifetime.
And yet, as time is ticking, I am still ever so indecisive with my decision to retire. Is this really what I want? After so many achievements with what I have built from the ground up, do I want to quit it all in the mere moment of weakness that I had? Will it all be worth it or will I regret doing so in a long run? Insecurity is a part of a disease that is incurable and will slowly eat you up bit by bit. A parasite. And that very parasite might have just got me in my systems.
*Cleans canvas with a Liquid White*
Let’s start again, shall we? :)
